Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.