I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.