What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.