Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.