He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Seas the day.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.