Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
You mermaid to go far.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Go big or go gnome.
Seas the day!
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Long time no sea.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
Fishing you a happy day.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
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