Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Fishing you a happy day.
Wish upon a starfish.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
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