How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Fishing you a happy day.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Go big or go gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
You seem a little mer-mad.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
We were mermaid for each other.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
You really mermaid my day.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Fairies just spell trouble.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
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