What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
You mermake me happy.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Long time no sea.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
I think you're mer-mazing.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
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