A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Call me on the shellphone.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
I think you're mer-mazing.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
I love you so fairy much.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
You seem a little mer-mad.