Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
You are shrimply the best!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Fairies just spell trouble.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
You mermake me happy.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
You mermaid to go far.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Shell-abrate the good times!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
I love you so fairy much.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
We were mermaid for each other.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
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