What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Don't fork-get your manners.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
You are shrimply the best!
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.