Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Fishing you a happy day.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
---
You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
You mermaid to go far.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
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