You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
All stereos are so typical.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
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