A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
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