Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
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