I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
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