What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
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