Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
My wife won a large ceramic pot
She definitely urned it.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?
No, but it serves her rite.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
I'm taking indian cooking classes, because
I'm just so curryous about it.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Anybody who can complete tasks atop the surface of their lower kitchen cabinets is...
counter productive.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
My son asked me where the pan was.
I told him, naturally, it went on a wok.
What's the difference between chemistry and cooking
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Be careful what you say about those plates in the cabinet.
They're stacked.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
I just landed a job at a local Asian restaurant.
All I had to do was wok in for my interview!
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
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