Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
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