How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.