Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!