What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.