Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
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