Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Go big or go gnome.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.