Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Go big or go gnome.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.