Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Go big or go gnome.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.