The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Go big or go gnome.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
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