I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
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