Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Go to BabaMail
