What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.