Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
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