What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
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