My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
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