Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
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