What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
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