Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
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