I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
Can I be Candide with you?
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously.
All they do is cheese and wine.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.