Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
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