How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
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