What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
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