Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
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