What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
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