I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Go to BabaMail
