I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
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