Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
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