How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
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