Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Go to BabaMail
