Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
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