What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Go to BabaMail
