If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
What's more important, shampoo or conditioner?
Is it the foamer or the lather?
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
Must love it unconditionally.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
I tripped over a floor tile in the bathroom today. Got out alright, but it's safe to say...
I got floored.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What do you call a faucet in the capital of Belgium?
A Brussels spout.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”
What cosmetic does DNA put on?
Genetic makeup.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Getting tired of all this laundry. I’m going to throw the towel in.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
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