Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?
Hygiene!
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
Last night my house was broken into, and all they stole was soap.
Dirty criminals. Cops say they got away clean.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Go to BabaMail
