Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. They’re great because they’re flexible but...
They have a tendency to quack.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
What did the copy machine say when it spilled it’s skincare?
"Oh no, that was my toner"
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
For meatier showers.
I got this new chapstick today...
It's the balm!
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Here’s my best advice for getting a job in the lotion industry:
Apply daily.
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Go to BabaMail
