I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Only a**holes use bidets.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
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