I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
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