I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
Go to BabaMail
