What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...
Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
I like to tell this one joke about homemade bombs
But it always blows up in my face.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.