What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
Go to BabaMail
