Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
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