My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
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