Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
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