Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
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