Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
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