How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.