Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
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