How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
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