Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Go to BabaMail
