What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
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