Welcome to the best of all worlds - our Planet Puns!

What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.