Astronaut Puns

Houston, we have a pun...

How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
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