If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
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