I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
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