I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
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