While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Go to BabaMail
