The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
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