My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
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