My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.