What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
We were mermaid for each other.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Shell-abrate the good times!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Long time no sea.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
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