What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
I love you so fairy much.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Fishing you a happy day.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Wish upon a starfish.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
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