What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Wish upon a starfish.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
You are shrimply the best!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Long time no sea.
Seas the day!
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
You mermake me happy.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
I love you so fairy much.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.