What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Fishing you a happy day.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
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