What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
You really mermaid my day.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
You seem a little mer-mad.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Wish upon a starfish.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Go to BabaMail
