A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
We were mermaid for each other.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Fishing you a happy day.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Fairies just wand to have fun.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
You are shrimply the best!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
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