Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
I think you're mer-mazing.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
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