Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
You mermaid to go far.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Wish upon a starfish.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
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