They aren’t gnome for their humor.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Don't fork-get your manners.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
You mermaid to go far.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Long time no sea.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
We were mermaid for each other.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Fishing you a happy day.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Fairies just wand to have fun.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
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