Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
You mermaid to go far.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Fairies just spell trouble.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
Don't fork-get your manners.
I think you're mer-mazing.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
You really mermaid my day.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Go to BabaMail
