What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
You really mermaid my day.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
You seem a little mer-mad.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Call me on the shellphone.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
I think you're mer-mazing.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
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