There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Long time no sea.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
I love you so fairy much.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Fishing you a happy day.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
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