What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Call me on the shellphone.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
You mermaid to go far.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Long time no sea.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
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