Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
You seem a little mer-mad.
We were mermaid for each other.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Shell-abrate the good times!
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
I think you're mer-mazing.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
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