What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Go big or go gnome.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
I love you so fairy much.
You really mermaid my day.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Wish upon a starfish.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
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