What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
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