Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
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