What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
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