I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?
Japan.
What did the astronaut see in his frying pan?
An Unidentified Frying Object.
I saw an Italian man cooking pasta with a flame thrower.
I cannoli imagine what he was thinking.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me
I yelled what the Hellmann?!
What's the difference between chemistry and cooking
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
If I put dull-tasting food in a bowl, will it have a bowlder taste?
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
How did Michael Jackson revolutionize cooking in space?
Moon Wok!
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
My wife won a large ceramic pot
She definitely urned it.
I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
I was watching a new cooking show where you only get to pick one pan to use the whole time…
It's called, "Do You Have The Skillet Takes?!"
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
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