Birch, please.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
My love for you simply radiates.
As it snow happens.
Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
“Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
Don’t worry, beer happy.
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.
I sulfur when you argon.
We have a great connection since you’re wifi-material.
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet? It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS.
Yule be sorry.
I am fawn’d of you my deer.
You sleigh me.
"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
Irish I may, Irish I might.
These decorations are tree-mendous.
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
"I would hop to the end of the world for you."
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Shamrocks and shenanigans for all!
Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
Irish puns are the most O'ffensive.
I’m not lion when I say you’re my mane.
A round of Santa-plause, please.
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
I followed my heart to you.
You snow the drill.
I’m feelin’ pine.
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
How rude-olf of you.
“Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve? They’re calling for rain, dear!”
St. Patrick’s Day makes me Spring to life.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
Go to BabaMail
