What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
"You crack me up."
Be careful this Easter
There is a lot of basket cases out there.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
Burst into cheers!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
"For peep's sake."
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
St. Patrick’s Day makes me Spring to life.
I'm snow bored.
I have the final sleigh.
Dublin’ the fun.
"I'm so egg-cited for Easter."
"You round me out." — High Card Band
Say it ain’t snow.
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
Why did the Easter bunny fire the duck?
He kept quacking all the eggs.
Best in snow.
"Having a good hare day."
I'm pine-ing for you.
I’m feelin’ pine.
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
"You can't beat me."
Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
“Oh, deer! Christmas is here!”
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
A round of Santa-plause, please.
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
I’m fondue you.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A Christmas Quacker.
Sip, sip, horray!
What genre of music do elves love to listen to? Wrap.
"Have a hoppy Easter."
Distill my beating heart.
We’ve reached the pint of no return.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
"Every bunny was kung fu fighting."
"Just one hot chick."
"Eggs love you."
Snow thank you.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
But wait—there’s myrrh.
It’s snow joke.
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